I heart trans fats

(originally published on 1/30/2007)
Eating my words... and trans fats
After I found out I was pregnant I posted a blog about how I really hated preggers who said the types of things I am about to say. Sorry, but I am eating my words.
I wish I would gain some friggin weight already!
I am 18 weeks and I am the same weight I was when I got knocked up. I gained 2 lbs last week (or so I thought) only to realize that Ash uncalibrated... miscalibrated... my scale. He went to the doctor yesterday and when he weighed, I eagerly weighed myself hoping for a subtle increase. But no, I am down. Actually 1 lb below my starting weight. And I was wearing jeans, a heavy sweater, and several thousand layers of tee shirts and tank tops. (Feck, it was cold yesterday!)
My mom says it is because I stopped drinking and cut out so many calories, but I can't believe that had such a grand impact that it would counteract growing a biggole being in my abdomen. If she is right, I should have tried the "no beer diet" long before the "low carb diet". Plus I am eating what I believe to be "tons" of calories... despite what hubs says. He thinks I should be eating all deep fried carbs and sweets. He believes that I am eating "too healthy" and that I won't gain unless I step it up in the trans fats department.
The belly is growing a little bit, but I have to wonder about this because there is an inverse reaction between my weight and my belly. Days I feel like the belly is poking out more are the days I hop on the scale to reveal a loss. I guess my belly size has remained pretty consistent since about week 10. In the morning when I get out of bed the belly doesn't exist and throughout the day it settles into its' "spare tire" facility around my lower abs. But in certain clothes you can't even tell that I am pregnant - at all. Which sucks when I am trying to pull the "I'm pregnant so I can't lift that heavy package" card.
Plus just about everyone who knows me knows that I am expecting. When they see me they want to talk about my pregnancy... see my belly. I have very little to offer these voyeurs. Not much weight gain, not much belly, not much else, really, other than extreme sensitivity during shows about home remodeling (I always cry at "while you were out"... it's weird) and bitchiness beyond relief. Oh yeah, and I have finally fulfilled my fantasies about fitting into a D cup... hooray.