Ten Things

(originally posted 1/12/2007)
Ten things
Ten things I hate about this week:
1. Stupid National Champions of every-feckin'-thing, the Florida Gaytors.How, Cayce, can you hate with such powerful fervor the team that just creamed the favored Ohio State Buckeyes. Well, I hate their fans. I have alot of "friends" - mostly highschool and MySpace aquaintances that are fans and these people are rub-it-in-your-face pricks. They were the ones drunkenly slobbering "Gaaaww Gayters!" until 4am Tuesday morning and posting bulletins reminding everyone that the Gaytors won. Great, they won. They played amazing and Chris Leak? Pretty effing cute taboot. But you guys have to learn to win gracefully. I am extremely familiar with the concept of winning gracefully: I went to Florida State in the late 90s.
2. Slower traffic that does not keep right. I am in a hurry, folks. Get the hell out of my way. I am considering mounting a LED sign on top of my car facing the car in front of me reminding the driver he is wasting the "fast lane". My husband thinks this is illegal, but I have some plans in the works.
3. Having a cold. I went through several hundred kleenex brand tissues this week and watched too many surgeries on daytime tv. Screw being sick.
4. Commerce and my inherent need to spend.I broke down today after 5 days and made one purchase of a non-necessary item, something which I am pretty proud of. I plan to examine my spending and cut out any excesses I can live without. Thanks to Dan for pointing this article out that will hopefully inspire a change in consumerism as we know it.
Read about it here!
5. Prime Rib.Uggh, I think I am almost over red meat. I ate a huge and wonderful slab of this fatty meat on Thursday night and felt like I had ingested guanno. I felt sluggish and awful and fat and uncomfortable... and...
6. My car. Anyone want to buy a 2004 VW Jetta 5 speed with leather and low miles? It's fast as hell and gets killer mileage... I just want my payoff... Hell, I'll throw in a brand new iPod if you are interested. It is too small for my growing family (and my growing body... I can hardly get out of the damn thing).
7. The John Mellencamp song "This is our country"I am pretty sure I don't even have to explain this one... this is the absolute most irritating song anywhere right now. I am going to sue.
8. Not being able to drink a beer.I LOVE beer. I just want a Guinness. Or a Newcastle. Or a Sam Adams. Dammit five more months...
9. Cheese that has not been melted. Don't give me hard cold cheese... gross. I want my shit melted.
10. People that try to jerk with my husband.I fight dirty when someone screws with people I love... so lay off, hoes :)