some weird shit happens to me

(originally posted 11/29/2006)
some weird shit happens to me
this memory was triggered by a post made by a friend of mine. it is kind of strange and took place several moons ago. i was living in denver, working as a bartender, in a terrible place: no car, no money, no posessions, no passions. nothing real. i got really upset and pissed off one day and went trodging through the snow in my neighborhood, trying to get lost and walk off some shame and anger. i ended up in a tiny park (less than 1/4 city block) sitting on a bench weeping when i was approached by an androgynous, older homeless person pushing a shopping cart. he/she sat next to me on my bench and sorted through the few items in the cart, and pulled out a large hardcover book, which he placed in my hands and walked away. it was puzzling enough to pull me from my piteous stupor long enough to open the book: a time life picture book featuring stars of the silver screen from the late 1940s through early 1960s. it was moving and embarassing, as this person who truly had absolutely nothing gave me something when i thought i had nothing; something that portrayed ultimate vanity, beauty, and youth! i sat there for a long time and sought deeper meaning, and eventually walked home smiling.
i still have the damn book, and it smells like ass.